"OK your Holiness...time to play find-the-pea!"

For those of you who remember, here's the only photo I could find of the house on Rancheria. Designed by Henry Hill, noted protege of Frank Lloyd Wright, landscaping by Robert Royston. The house was torn down in 2004 and replaced by a 7000 sq. foot Mediterranean Palazzo.

Hildegarde Goss, One Of A Kind.

Losing Miss Hildegarde at age 93 has certainly put a damper on our community, and robbed us of a talented artist, gadabout, and raconteur. Here is the monologue developed by Sunny Massad, based on an interview with Miss H. about 4 years ago......


Hildegarde
Age 89


"I was married for 64 years. I still feel married, although I’ve been a widow for 5 years (or however long it’s been). When Bill first died, a flood of people tended to my every need. But within a month, I was rattling around in this house by myself and was considered to be a single woman. I don’t consider myself to be single! Even though the old boy isn’t here any more, we are still married. I had my time with sex & romance but that was long gone. Along with relationships come compromise, and as Bill and I got older, neither of us were willing to pay that price. We were both fiercely independent.

I have never been a single woman, really, until now ... and I don’t have any children. I never had a desire to have any. I’m allergic to kids, I think. It never fails that when I get around them I come down with something.

When I’m lonely, I feel sorry for myself for as long as I can stand it ... I can have one hell of a pity party. But I limit myself to three days. And then I get bored with it and get myself to town where I can be around people - even if they are strangers, or people I don’t like - I get energy from people ... especially young people, whom I adore! But I remember all my dead friends and family fondly and I forget all about the hard times I ever had with them once they die. I like the memory of people more than I liked them when they were alive. That’s a terrible thing to say. But it’s true!

I have actually discovered some interesting things about living alone:
I only eat when I’m hungry - but I’m not hungry much any more. I prepare a little something to eat for myself, plop myself up on my bed, turn the TV on, and share my food, one bite at a time with each dog, and then one bite for me ... until it’s gone. Dogs love to eat people food and eating together makes it like a party. I also like to eat ice cream on frozen waffles any old time of day and have been known to eat a half a jar of homemade lemon curd in one sitting.
My false teeth fly out of my mouth when I eat so I’m finally thin. I have the body now that I wanted my whole life.........except its got hanging skin from top to bottom!

I do like to dress up though, if I can find something that doesn’t have slop spilled all over the front of it.If I grab clothes out of my closet when I don’t have my glasses on, I think I look pretty grand until I get my glasses on, and then I realize I look like a bag lady. But no matter how drab I look, a bright scarf or hat does wonders. Older women need a splash of color near their face.
I’ve always gotten lonely when I’m alone too much. It’s not good for anyone to be alone for too long, unless they’re artists.

Getting dressed and going out can take time, though. Sometimes my brain gives my leg the command to move and it just sits there like a dumb dog. It cantake up to a minute to finally get the message and go. I start out all right, but then I veer off in one direction, which is okay, as long as I’m not near water!

I still like to drive my van into town. I just press the gas peddle and go. I smash into things once in awhile in the same way that I smash into things with my legs and elbows, but a few dents never hurt anything.


I keep my eyes open for any opportunity to be surprised or amazed. Why just the other day I noticed a man who had the most marvelously shaped head. When I stopped to compliment him on it, he said he’d never been told that before. It’s amazing to me that someone could go through a whole life with a head like that and nobody would comment on it! It was almost square! I would have loved to have sculpted that square head of his. My last art exhibit was a few months ago, or was that this summer? Whenever it was, I sold all but three paintings. There’s just no accounting for taste. I can’t hold my hand steady any more. Those paintings were simply dreadful! Really, they were!

My relationship with my animals, the birds and humming birds that come to feed every morning and evening, and the friends who call or drop by, are the most important things in my life now. This morning I got so involved in tracing a snail trail back to it’s starting point that I lost all track of time. But at my age, time doesn’t matter. I’m always surprised at where I am and how I ended up there. I can find myself in the kitchen and damned if I can remember what I went in there for. Then I go back into the bedroom to givemyself a clue about why I had gone into the kitchen but I get distracted by a squirrel eating the bird food or the fire that needs tending. It’s a constant source of entertainment.

But the best part about being 89 is that there’s a lot of freedom and damned little peer pressure! None of us are getting younger – but you know what? That’s just fine with me because the best time is always NOW anyway ... As long as my body moves, I get a little attention, and keep managing to have fun, I guess I’ll stick around a little longer.”

transcribed & edited by Sunny Massad

graduation speech

Here is a copy of the keynote speech I gave at graduation:

“Graduates, parents, educators, and friends, I cannot tell you how honored I was to be asked to speak today on behalf of this amazing class of 2010. Now as most of you know, I have known almost all of these kids since they were in poopie-diapers, and I could spend the next few minutes telling crushingly funny and humiliating stories about these fine young adults that would probably scar them for life or at least insure many therapists livelihood for the next 30 years or so. But I won’t. But I must say I am tempted! When Lilly Ewert confirmed to me that I would be speaking, I just looked at her and asked...”Are ya’ SURE????” and she, in classic Lilly style, looked me right in the eye and and said “Bring it on.”

Then I started thinking about the last four years, and the high school careers of these graduates, and first I have a confession to make to the class of 2010. Whenever you came into the cafe for drinks (That’s Caffe La Boheme, right next to Holly B’s Bakery open every day at 7am....I know I know, shameless..) anyway, whenever you came into the cafe, until you turned 15 or so.....I ALWAYs served you decaf, whether you wanted it or not. Believe me when I say that I only had your and your parents best interests at heart.....because honestly? You guys were scary enough WITHOUT caffeine!

I have watched you grow from young children running amok on the deck in front of Holly B’s to running amok during concerts and dances, first at The legion hall, and later at the community Center. I have laughed and cried with you, and offered advise over countless cups of tea, hot chocolate, or soy London fogs. You have in turn called me, Spaghetti- head, poopie-head, tickle monster, Auntie Bob, and finally just Robert. I have watched as you tried various and unfortunate fashion statements and hair styles, I have seen you travel all over the globe, and have read with interest and delight the emails, letters and Facebook status updates. I have not mentioned “a lot of things” to your parents, only the really funny lines like...”Ugh...like I mean Bruce Willis is so OLD! How could my mother find him sexy?? Like eeewwww! I mean he’s only been in 1 or 2 movies right?” I have held the sacred trust of your secret coffeehouse whisperings and stories, you successes and failures, your too-many-to count parties at Watmough. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Growing up in a community like Lopez is a blessing, although at times, I know it doesn’t always feel that way, you have grown up in a trusting, loving , supportive community that has kept tabs on you 24/7/365. You have grown up not knowing how to lock your doors, you have partied with people old enough to be your grandparents, you’ve grown up knowing people named after animals, trees, and colors. You’ve bitched about having to drive all the way to Islandale for munchies, you’ve actually used the phrase “all the way to Islandale” because it feels like it takes forever to get there! You’ve eaten countless platters of burgers, fish tacos & cajun fries at Bucky’s, and a gazillion cinnamon rolls at the Bakery.

I also want to thank you, the class of 2010, for helping me to stay young at heart. Sometimes when I listen to the conversations of the older people here on Lopez, the constant complaining about aches and pains, and the latest surgeries, I find myself thinking... “Dude...you need to hang out with people younger than you..” and yes in my thoughts I DO use the word DUDE. Because honestly, I’d much rather talk about Lady gaga’s Kermit-the frog dress than laser eye surgery any day! (Although I draw the line at the Twilight Books and movies, because who really cares about a guy named edward who’s as white as an envelope, and yet all his high school chums think he’s normal? Now that would NEVER happen at Lopez high School!) My point is that, hanging out with people younger than you talking to them and really listening, helps to keep you young as well, and fresh and informed.....

Now I suppose I should probably tell you graduates some of my hard-earned truisms about life and career etc....but experience tells me that you don’t want to hear all that stuff, and the best teacher is experience itself...but there are two thoughts I would like to share with you; first is that when you hear someone tell you to follow your dreams, you SHOULD listen, but know this: dreams change. I’ll say it again....dreams change.

I once heard a young friend say that he was really disappointed in how older people allowed their dreams to die, and how sad that seemed to him. The reality is that, often what you dream is not what you TRULY want, or what will TRULY make you happy and fulfilled, and sometimes, what you THINK is not exactly what you want, is EXACTLY what you NEED. Also while pursuing one dream, you may find yourself veering towards something completely different, and not realize at that time that the NEW path you follow will lead you smack-dab to the dream you never even considered, until you’re right in the middle of it.... Happy and fulfilled, and dispensing coffee and laughter in a small cafe on a small island in the middle of nowhere, and realizing that there is nothing else you would rather be doing!...except maybe doing it in a warmer climate!

My second thought is actually a saying that my Mom shared with me at a particularly challenging time in my life, a time when I had a difficult choice to make, a choice between maintaining the status quo in my life, or striking out in a totally new and unknown and therefore terrifying direction in my life. So after cooking me a wonderful dinner of lamb chops, roast potatoes, and strawberry cheesecake, my favorite meal at the time, and knowing that I was relaxed and receptive, she said to me “Honey....I will always be thankful to all of the people who told me, no it cannot be done....It is because of THEM that I went out and did it myself.” I will always be thankful to all of the people who told me NO. It is because of them that I went out and did it myself...... and so with that thought in my head, I did. I went out and did it myself. And I still do..... to this day.

So to the class of 2010, to you amazing young people, all of whom I am truly honored to call my friends, Thank you for letting me accompany you on part of you journey. In Brazil, where I worked in the early 80’s, they have a word that is a personal favorite of mine, (and I know that Tahoma probably has a pretty good idea what the word is) and I would like to share that with you...the word is “saudade”, and the closest translation I can tell you, because there is no true literal translation, is that it means a heart-wrenching longing or yearning for a place or a sense of place, in other words a love of place so strong, that it leaves you feeling empty and weak in the knees; “saudade”.... So graduates...as you head out into the big wide world, there may come a time when you do in fact have that feeling of “saudade” when thinking of Lopez Island, so I would like to present each of you with a small token of my appreciation, to help you remember that wherever you are, your friends and family on Lopez will always be there to welcome you back.......

(hand out bottles of Bucky’s Cajun Spice))

......and lastly to the parents of the graduates, please remember, that despite any separation anxiety you may be feeling at this moment, it is emphatically NOT an “empty nest” until all their crap is out of the garage! Thanks you.”